I have a very distinct memory of Princess Diana's death (which I realized is a weird way to start this post). There are a few reasons for this. The first is because they made a Beanie Baby to honor her (I never realized how dumb that was until just now. Who wants to be honored like that?) that was supposed to someday be worth something (I googled it--it's worth about $15)and I had friends that were really in to Beanie babies. (Even the name is awful. How did this ever catch on?)Her death really was an awful and emotional tragedy, and I'm sure I felt sorry for her boys, who were so young. The other reason I remember, however, is because it was about the same time that Mother Teresa passed away. My dad was very upset with the press that Di was getting, and the lack of press Mother Teresa received in comparison. This is not to say that he thought Di was bad or that her death was unimportant--it definitely was a big deal. He just thought it was such a shame that Mother Teresa--who, needless to say,is one of the most influential women of recorded history--was not given proper homage. I am grateful that they did not make a Beanie Baby for her, though. She wouldn't have wanted that. (Then again, who really would? Dave, if you read this, you know Ke$ha would).
So this all goes to show society's skewed view of success. Again, my disclaimer--I do not have ill thoughts towards Princess Diana. I'm just saying... it's Mother Teresa,and where was her press? (Again, not that she would have wanted it.) I don't want to be a part of this system of ideologies--where money equals success, popularity equals love,and honor is given through added consumerism.
In case anyone was wondering, I really don't know what I want to do career-wise, and it bothers me at times (so quit asking,for goodness-sake). I've had a lot of ideas over the years. I've wanted to be a Kansas City Chiefs cheerleader (naturally), tennis player (unnaturally- I never played tennis), doctor, actress, singer, community developer, journalist, pizza maker at a gas station (I've always loved Casey's pizza, which unfortunately, does not exist in California),entertainment booking agent, preacher, barista, bartender,(breath) radio announcer, WNBA player,music teacher, prison reformer... a lot of things. For so long I've defined my own personal success by what I think my profession is or should be. I've felt like a bit of a let down because of the high expectations I place on myself and the ridiculous visions I've had of what post-grad should look like. So put simply, it's not even the expectations of others, but what I imagine others expectations to be (looking-glass self) and my own preconceived notions that trip me up.
What I'm learning right now, is that it is not the job I have that makes me who I am. Sure, what we do plays a part in our happiness and fulfillment, but "the job" is not necessarily what makes or breaks us as individuals. I guess that depends on your own version of success, though. If you define success as having a Beanie Baby made in your honor, then you are going to hate the rest of this paragraph. Success defined is the "accomplishment of an aim or purpose". My aim right now is to have an experience I wouldn't have had at home, as I have previously shared. As a Christian, I feel my purpose is to love and serve others. This is something I want to be better at, and it really does take practice and a concerted effort at changing my view of others to one of love, and not just thinking it, but acting in a way that is love. These are not my only purposes, but my point is, it's not the job that defines us. I love my friends for who they are, not what they do. They could be in the mob and I would still wanna hang out. Actually, that could be kind of cool. Please, friends, do that.
This is not to say that I don't want a fulfilling career. I do want to find something to do that I am really passionate about (which I've found is not the coffee business). This might take a while, though, so for now I will write, and sing, and dance,and make coffee, and purposefully wander and see what there is to see, and keep on loving people and seeing God in the moment. I want to be less concerned with "what I want to be" , and focus on "who I want to be". I want to be full of life, and love, and grace, and joy, and gratitude. I want to think more about others than myself. I want my life to change the course, not because of the popularity of my accomplishments, but because I caused some type of positive shift that actually helped someone somewhere at some point.
Also, I only liked the TY animals that weren't Beanie Babies. You know, the ones that were standard teddy-bear size? I had a dog. His name was Flopper. I think my sister stole him. You can't snuggle with the little Beanie Babies, and most people keep them on shelves (or in cases as to not crush the tags). What good are they?
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” Mother Teresa
LH
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